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i am someone new many times throughout the day.

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Sep. 1st, 2008 | 11:41 am

oh. yeahh.   i've been getting high a lot lately  'having esurient eyes of avid curiousity'
and watching meteor showers all over the world     on youtube.
and then i have  panic attacks looking at the milky way galaxy--- and thinking of my relative size.  
i think to myself oh my god something made this. and what am i supposed to be doing here? ( the sentience of an  egotistical statement  i  do  scantly understand.)    
i know i aint nothin but a pile of organs that barely realizes it's own consciousness.

(meanwhile sipping an applejuice box)
i've decided i think i want to move west.  i need to see mountains. i need waterfalls. i need air.  i need something that appears free.


i'm grateful for my health and youth today  so that i may dream    and can only  hope that it will return tomorrow.

on a side note:  (something that has been curling my guts  like paper in a fire )      
i wish to feel  something like love ? i think, today ?     and  the feeling clings to my aura like hairy magnet scraps.

is there a such thing as mutual love ?   for the love pessimist, the ballad of the sad cafe seems a type of gospel.

this is the most i can conjur for the morning.

i start a new job today.  i start a new job today.   

i start a new page.

good day.

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from: may_came_home
date: Sep. 4th, 2008 01:35 am (UTC)

i don't think that people who want to love and be loved ever love one another.

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